Freezee Pops and Tiny Wisdom

Happy Interdependence Day 2024

In 2021, I started a tradition.

It was July 4th weekend, and my wife Naomi was out of town with our son. It had been a rough week at work—the powers that be felt like they were winning a little more than usual and the people I cared about on the streets were getting hit harder and harder. On top of that, July 4th weekend was projected to be scorching in LA. I felt restless, especially as I thought about “Independence Day”—this especially American idea that personal independence is a virtue; that we actually can (and should) do it all on our own.

Impulsively, I went to Target and bought a cooler and dozens of cases of water and Gatorade. The next day, the fourth, I loaded it up and drove around Hollywood and gave out as much cold water and Gatorade as I could. It was a personal rebellion against the myth of independence and an act of interdependence: a reminder that we need each other. And not a shallow, one-way dependence where “they” need me to bring them water, but an understanding that we have to take care of each other, and that my life is better with “them” in it too.

Since then, the tradition has continued, and now includes my whole family. My four year old, Micah, has especially taken to it. Now, he of course has two parents that care so deeply and talk incessantly about homelessness and our “outside neighbors”. But I can’t take all the credit—I think there is something innately good in children that recognizes the way things are supposed to be before all our bad ideas about deservedness, class, race, and worth find their way in.

This young man has made me so proud so many times—last Halloween when we explained trick or treating to him—something like “we walk around in costumes and get candy from our neighbors”—he immediately connected this to his “outside neighbors”, and asked if we could go trick or treating with them. When we said that they probably wouldn’t have candy to give out, he asked if we could take them candy. So, we bought candy and arranged them into goodie bags and took Micah to go “reverse-trick-or-treating” at the encampment. It was the best, and it was all him.

So I shouldn’t have been surprised that he had another great idea for Interdependence Day.

About a month ago, there was tragedy among our local unhoused community. Micah heard us talking about it, and we explained—in age appropriate ways—that our outside neighbors were probably really sad. He responded, “Oh! I have idea! We can take freezee pops to them so they will be happy!”

(Sob)

So that’s what we did yesterday. (We celebrated Interdependence a day early because it’s projected to rain on Thursday and Friday, but was hot on Wednesday.) We joined up with our local Supply Depot for their weekly pop-up event where they distribute water, Gatorade, sandwiches, coffee, and rain ponchos for the upcoming weather.

But this week, they also had Freezee Pops.

Hearing my son ask unhoused people “Would you like a cold icy tweat??” and how many of them said “This was the perfect thing for you to bring!” is a memory I won’t soon forget.

I don’t tell you this story to say what an amazing person I am. I’m also not trying to brag on my son (ok, maybe a little.)

Instead, I take this yearly opportunity to remind you of a couple things:

(1) Independence is a myth, and it’s killing us. Americans on the whole have more space and wealth than they’ve ever had, but also report the highest rates of loneliness, depression, anxiety, and overall poor mental health. (There’s a side point to be made here about the distribution of wealth and how it affects those things, but we’ll bypass that today.) We have been convinced that we have to make it on our own, but the truest thing about us is and always will be that we are deeply connected at a molecular, spiritual level to one another and to everything.

(2) Clinging to independence harms some more than others. You’ve heard me rail against the recent Supreme Court decision to allow the criminalization of homelessness. Their decision, and the decision to criminalize in the first place, hinges on the the false-logic of independence—that if we make people who are homeless miserable through punishment, they will choose something else, or else be motivated out of their situation. Anyone who’s ever had a true relationship with unhoused people knows that this is untrue—homelessness exists because we have collectively failed each other, and it will only be remedied when we learn that none of us are safe or well or whole until everyone is.

(3) If you’ve read my other writings, you know I’ve talked about this in the context of coffee and avocado toast, but Freezee Pops were another perfect reminder that we all deserve joy, not just survival. The water bottles and Narcan that were distributed may stave off deadly dehydration and overdose, and it’s so important that people have access to that. But very often we stop at the point of perceived necessity, and forget that we all need and deserve more than that. We all deserve extraneous, flamboyant, joy-bringing things that remind us that we are not machines that simply run on fuel—we flourish when we have our needs and our pleasures. Even (especially!) unhoused people should have special things so, in Micah’s words, “they can be happy.”

Folks, check the weather this weekend. If there’s a particularly hot day, consider your own act of Interdependence to help cool people down—you can never go wrong with cold water and gatorade .

But don’t do it because they need you. Do it because we all need each other—and if you’re able, get creative about ways that you can make it extra special.

If you need any ideas… ask a four-year-old.

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